I Disappeared, and then I Un-disappeared

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For a guy who named his newsletter Sanjay Says, I haven’t said much in a while. But there’s a perfectly good reason.

I was busy having my life dismantled.

Allow me to stumble through an attempt to explain and you can decide for yourself whether it lands somewhere between “enlightened” and “deranged.” I won’t be offended. You won’t be the first person wondering if I’ve gone off my bipolar meds.

A few months ago, on recommendation from a friend, I read a book called Busting Loose from the Money Game by Robert Scheinfeld. It looked like another one of those “break free and claim your abundance” books, the sort you keep on your shelf next to the turmeric supplements and the unopened breath-work manual. But within a few chapters, I realized this wasn’t your usual spiritual fluff.

It didn’t really tell me how to make more money, or heal my inner child, or find meaning for myself.

What it did do was gently, and then less gently, suggest that the key to a happy life is to stop believing I needed anything that I didn’t already have.

What if everything I believe about reality is an elaborate illusion? And that the part of me trying to fix, achieve, or escape anything… was also part of the illusion?

It was, quite honestly, a massive pain in the ass.

But it was also the beginning of something extraordinary.

My article about the book is one of the most popular pieces I’ve ever written. You might want to start with the article if you’re curious. It’s not mandatory. This isn’t a spiritual Costco sample booth. But context never hurts. Link at the bottom.

Anyway.

After reading Busting Loose, I did what I always do when I get excited: I went overboard. I dove headfirst into Scheinfeld’s full Ultimate Freedom Experience — a 30-hour online video course that doesn’t try to help you get what you want, but rather asks: “What if you stopped believing you needed anything at all?”

Spoiler: The first few hours are confusing. The next few are disorienting. Then, somewhere in the middle, your brain quietly slips out the back door and leaves a note that says: “You’re on your own now, buddy.”

What followed was months of personal collapse. It was my belief system, as opposed to my actual life, although I did shut down Runway 06, the restaurant/nightclub that has been the focus of my attention this past year.

It’s been a soft unraveling of versions of me I had worked very hard to maintain. The CEO version. The spiritual-seeker version. The “I’m constantly learning” version. Each of those selves quietly packed up their things and left.

I don’t miss them.

In their place came something better. I stopped needing to be the hero of my own story. Or any story, really. I started watching my life unfold with the same curiosity I usually reserve for clever plot twists in science fiction novels. What I’m thinking is, “I can’t wait to see what I do next,” because it has become obvious it’s not up to me.

There has been more laughter. Less struggle. More presence. Less pressure.

Which brings me to now, and to why I’m writing again after a mysteriously long silence.

I’ve been in contact with Robert Scheinfeld — the author of Busting Loose and the mind behind the Ultimate Freedom Experience. He’s largely retired now, enjoying the freedom he teaches, and has no desire to re-enter the spotlight.

Which is why I was a little surprised when I asked him to come to Toronto to do a five-day live version of the Ultimate Freedom Experience… and he said yes.

It’s happening September 13–17, 2025. It will be the first time in years he’s done a live workshop, and possibly the last time ever.

This is not a retreat in the Instagrammable sense. No cacao ceremonies. No sunrise yoga. No promises that you’ll walk out a better person.

This is for people who’ve sensed — like I did — that something isn’t quite adding up.

For people who’ve done the work, read the books, listened to the podcasts, been to therapy, journaled, cold-plunged, breath-worked, inner-child-regressed, trauma-mapped… and are still wondering why peace always seems just out of reach.

This is not about finding a better story.

It’s about seeing the mechanism that produces all stories — and quietly stepping off the page.

It might sound abstract now. That’s okay. I’m not here to convince you.

I’m just telling you that, for me, it’s been the most quietly radical shift I’ve ever experienced. And I want to make it available to others, because sometimes, when something breaks you open, you feel compelled to pass it on. Like how misery loves company. But this is the opposite. Joy loves company too.

To be clear, I’m bringing Robert here for me.

But I’m extending the invitation in case it’s for you, too. See link at bottom.

Again, I’d suggest reading Busting Loose first, or at least my article about it. But it’s not essential. You could just show up and see what happens.

No promises. No techniques. Just the quiet invitation to let it all fall away.

And maybe — if your life story has reached that particular plot twist — you’ll recognize that this isn’t the start of a journey.

It’s the end of one.

1. Read my article “The Most Mind-Blowing Book” (about Busting Loose from the Money Game).

2. Watch a video Masterclass explaining the experience.

3. Find out more about the 5-day live experience in Toronto, Sept 13–17. Tickets are offered at a steep discount as it’s sponsored by Nikean Foundation.

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